The holiday season leading into New Years’ Eve has a way of forcing me to reflect on the last year whether I truly want to or not. I am not one who really believes that a new year on the calendar will change everything, that the clock strikes twelve and it is instantly as if all my problems from 2018 have disappeared. I don’t believe that I have to enter the new year with a million resolutions promising myself that this year will be the year that it’s different, this year will be the year I stick to these resolutions and my life will change because it’s 2019 instead of 2018.
I sit here writing this after I showed up a half hour late to work yesterday, running through the door, laughing and saying “New Year, Same Me!!!” And now I think, I really do want to be the same me, just a better me. So no, I didn’t make any resolutions, but I think I know where I might have really gone wrong in 2018 – when I temporarily lost myself and started breaking promises to myself, such as, not putting myself first, not letting my feelings take a backseat, and settling for less than I deserve in a relationship.
I have read before that we are so much more unlikely to break promises to other people because we don’t want to let them down, so why do we break our New Years’ Resolutions and our promises to work out more and think more happy thoughts? Isn’t the most important person to keep your promises to yourself? This is my year of no longer breaking promises to myself.
I am not going to tell you a whole list of things that I am aspiring to do this year because I know that most of them will not happen. Maybe I’ll go to the gym more this year. Maybe I’ll drink more water this year. Maybe I’ll eat better. I do think my physical health is important, of course, but once I tell you I will commit to doing these, I will instantly feel like I have let YOU down if I don’t follow through with them. It’s not really that important if you are happy with me because I am the only one who has to live with me. So shouldn’t I be focusing on keeping the promises I’m making to myself?
This year, I am promising to keep my promises to myself. This year I am promising myself I will stop feeling sorry for myself if I am in a situation I’m unhappy in because it’s me, no one else, that has the ability to get me out of it. This year I am promising myself that I will leave those people who never ask me how I’m doing behind in 2018 because they are toxic and they are not good for me. I am promising myself that I will no longer settle for anything less than I deserve in love and in life. This way, at the end of 2019 I can look back and reflect on the things I did for myself because I promised I would.
Want to keep up with me throughout the year and see where I end up? Follow me on twitter here.
With love from my city to yours,