Happy Saturday everyone! I have been receiving some emails from my lovely readers that have asked me for my advice about different situations they are in. I decided to write an advice column type post to answer these questions, thinking maybe some others of you are dealing with similar situations as well. I want to put a huge disclaimer out there that although I love writing about relationships, dating, being single, and all that jazz, I am in no means any type of expert – but would absolutely love to give anyone who is in need of advice, advice about anything!
So here we go ~
I have been hanging out, I guess you can say talking to, a guy for about six months now. He is great and we really enjoy spending time together. We go out and do lots of different things together, he always answers my text messages and phone calls, he’s a really great guy! I read your post about when you should define the relationship and I realized we probably should’ve already had one of these talks about what are we. I think I haven’t brought it up because I don’t know if we have a deep enough connection for it to really go anyplace. I don’t want to waste either of our time but I do enjoy spending time with him and I don’t want to lose him. What should I do?
I have definitely experienced this before and I think it’s one of the most difficult types of situations to be in. I would say since he also hasn’t tried to define anything, you might be in luck (if you want to call it that) because you might both feel a similar way. This is good thing in my eyes because you aren’t going to break his heart, and most likely he won’t really break yours either.
I have to address something you said “he always answers my text messages and phone calls” because it’s so sad to me that this is what we consider a positive trait in a man because we don’t just expect that guys are going to answer us!!! UGH!
Overall, this guy sounds like a good guy and although it might be time for you to have a more serious talk about what is going on between the two of you, it might turn out better than expected. This is because even if it’s not going anywhere, you have likely developed a pretty good friendship that will last even if no boyfriend-girlfriend relationship comes from it. In the meantime, you have someone to hang out with and do fun stuff with which is important too! Good luck! xx
I fell for my best guy friend too and I think I ruined our whole relationship in doing so. Are you still friends with your back-up plan? How did you handle the situation after he rejected you? Help!!!
If I told you that I handled the situation without any struggle, I would be lying to you, BIG TIME! Let me start by giving you a simple answer – yes we are currently friends again.
However, it honestly took a while for the emotions surrounding the situation to settle down and us to be able to be friends again, and sometimes it’s still as if we aren’t friends at all. Sometime soon I am hoping to write more in depth about the entire situation because I think that a loooot of people fall for their friends and it doesn’t work out or they are scared to act on it in case it doesn’t work out. No one wants to lose their friend.
I think that my best advice would be to just allow the dust to settle for a little while and have faith that everything happens for a reason and will work out the way it’s supposed to. Eventually, when the emotions surrounding the situation aren’t so high, you will hopefully be able to talk things out and get some closure regarding the whole thing. Best of luck, I know this type of situation is tough!! xx
I have been on some really bad online dates too! I always get really angry about it and I take some time off from online dating. I don’t understand how people can be so out of touch with acceptable ways to treat a woman! How do you bounce back after a bad date so that it doesn’t hurt your self-esteem?
I just have to laugh it off honestly! Some of the bad dates I’ve been on I was really taken aback by. I agree with you that some people are really out of touch with how others deserve to be treated. However, you can’t let it get to you because it’s not you, it’s them! You have to shake it off and keep moving along – which might be easier said than done!
After a bad date, vent to some of your close friends, treat yourself to a pedicure, massage, or just a nice long bath, and tell yourself the one is out there someplace!! Good luck! xx
So that’s all for today because I want your feedback!! Let me know if you’d like to see more posts like this in the comments – should this be something I do a couple times a month? Once a month? Every couple months? Let me know!! And if you have any questions you’d want answered, send them my way – firstname.lastname@example.org
With love from my city to yours,