Going into 2018, I made the decision to start planning out my blog posts somewhat ahead of time so that I could produce better content and any readers would know when to expect I’d be posting.
(See related post: happy new year!)
However, life doesn’t always go as planned. Although I thought I had a good strategy sometimes there are things that I go through that I want to write about as a coping mechanism or a way to just put my thoughts out there, hence this unexpected and unplanned post today.
Did any of you think you would be married or have kids by a certain age? Well I am past the age I thought I would be married and slowly creeping up on the age where I thought I would be having my first child. Yet, I am currently not even in a relationship.
It’s okay to laugh about this. I see the irony in this situation, really, I do.
It can really be a blessing or a curse for things to not go according to plan, in my opinion. The following are some different examples of times that things didn’t go my way and how I attempted to make the best out of the situations.
A few years ago, I was so head-over-heels for my ex-boyfriend, I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him, but the relationship didn’t work out because we weren’t on the same page about where it was going. Here I am just a few years later, very single, but feeling so much pressure to show that I could move on before him. But this didn’t go the way I planned.
Instead, I took the time to really make sure I was ready to date before rushing to put myself back out there. I thought this would save both myself and whatever guys’ paths I crossed from ending up hurt in the long run.
In my post: falling for your back-up plan, I discussed a situation where I believed that since I was finally ready to date a guy who had expressed so many times how strongly he felt about me, it would work out. But this didn’t go according to my plans either.
Instead, I learned a lesson about how to better communicate where I was coming from and the struggles of rebuilding a friendship from the ground up – this will be in a future post, I promise.
For someone who is a litttttttttle bit of a control freak (ok, a lot of a control freak) it can sometimes be really difficult for me to handle when things don’t turn out how I was planning for them too. But I am learning to accept that everything happens for a reason and it’s okay when things don’t go your way.
In some instances, I have been shown that there is a blessing in things turning out differently than you expected. For example, I always expected that when I finished my undergraduate degree, I would continue on in my schooling until I obtained a PhD in Psychology. That was always my plan. However, when I was almost done with my degree, I got a fulltime job offer in my field and thought I would be crazy to not accept it. So many young adults struggle to find fulltime employment when they leave school and I thought that taking this opportunity would allow me to gain some experience and then I would return to school seamlessly.
Now that I have been working for a few years, I am earning a steady income and I am not sure if I am going to return to school or not. I am learning about different employment opportunities that I could pursue that I would have never considered if not for taking this job and getting to meet older adults that are willing to mentor me and help me follow my dreams.
Other times, I have found there are always some downsides to things not turning out as planned. Because if I had given my backup plan a chance earlier on, there is a chance I would not be single right now. That would mean I wouldn’t have to participate in online dating or experience any of the bad dates such as the ones described in this post. But I also probably would not have the opportunity to meet some of the great guys who have turned into good friends from online dating either. ~ One of my goals for 2018 is to be more positive so there is my attempt at that lol ~
It is not the end of the world when things don’t go according to your plan. Although sometimes it is difficult to figure out what your new plan should be, things can turn out even better than you expected.
Does anyone have any examples of when something didn’t turn out the way they expected that they would like to share? How did you handle it? Do you see it as a blessing or as a curse? I would love to hear about it!
With love from my city to yours,