life doesn’t always go as planned

Going into 2018, I made the decision to start planning out my blog posts somewhat ahead of time so that I could produce better content and any readers would know when to expect I’d be posting.

(See related post: happy new year!)

However, life doesn’t always go as planned. Although I thought I had a good strategy sometimes there are things that I go through that I want to write about as a coping mechanism or a way to just put my thoughts out there, hence this unexpected and unplanned post today.


Did any of you think you would be married or have kids by a certain age? Well I am past the age I thought I would be married and slowly creeping up on the age where I thought I would be having my first child. Yet, I am currently not even in a relationship.

It’s okay to laugh about this. I see the irony in this situation, really, I do.

It can really be a blessing or a curse for things to not go according to plan, in my opinion. The following are some different examples of times that things didn’t go my way and how I attempted to make the best out of the situations.

A few years ago, I was so head-over-heels for my ex-boyfriend, I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him, but the relationship didn’t work out because we weren’t on the same page about where it was going. Here I am just a few years later, very single, but feeling so much pressure to show that I could move on before him. But this didn’t go the way I planned.

Instead, I took the time to really make sure I was ready to date before rushing to put myself back out there. I thought this would save both myself and whatever guys’ paths I crossed from ending up hurt in the long run.

In my post: falling for your back-up plan, I discussed a situation where I believed that since I was finally ready to date a guy who had expressed so many times how strongly he felt about me, it would work out. But this didn’t go according to my plans either.

Instead, I learned a lesson about how to better communicate where I was coming from and the struggles of rebuilding a friendship from the ground up – this will be in a future post, I promise.

For someone who is a litttttttttle bit of a control freak (ok, a lot of a control freak) it can sometimes be really difficult for me to handle when things don’t turn out how I was planning for them too. But I am learning to accept that everything happens for a reason and it’s okay when things don’t go your way.

In some instances, I have been shown that there is a blessing in things turning out differently than you expected. For example, I always expected that when I finished my undergraduate degree, I would continue on in my schooling until I obtained a PhD in Psychology. That was always my plan. However, when I was almost done with my degree, I got a fulltime job offer in my field and thought I would be crazy to not accept it. So many young adults struggle to find fulltime employment when they leave school and I thought that taking this opportunity would allow me to gain some experience and then I would return to school seamlessly.

Now that I have been working for a few years, I am earning a steady income and I am not sure if I am going to return to school or not. I am learning about different employment opportunities that I could pursue that I would have never considered if not for taking this job and getting to meet older adults that are willing to mentor me and help me follow my dreams.

Other times, I have found there are always some downsides to things not turning out as planned. Because if I had given my backup plan a chance earlier on, there is a chance I would not be single right now. That would mean I wouldn’t have to participate in online dating or experience any of the bad dates such as the ones described in this post. But I also probably would not have the opportunity to meet some of the great guys who have turned into good friends from online dating either. ~ One of my goals for 2018 is to be more positive so there is my attempt at that lol ~

 It is not the end of the world when things don’t go according to your plan. Although sometimes it is difficult to figure out what your new plan should be, things can turn out even better than you expected.


Does anyone have any examples of when something didn’t turn out the way they expected that they would like to share? How did you handle it? Do you see it as a blessing or as a curse? I would love to hear about it!

With love from my city to yours,
xoSteph

 

13 thoughts on “life doesn’t always go as planned

  1. That’s a great post and so well-written! I wouldn’t worry too much about it, you know.. I kinda like the attitude of “what will happen will happen” or maybe as Doris Day put it “Que sera, sera” 😄 Our world is so focused on stereotypes and fitting into a certain category or way of life, that it can sometimes make us miserable and question our doings. I met my boyfriend in 2012 and have been in a long-distance relationship ever since. I have always thought we would be living together by now. We see each other every month or two and he’s trying his best to move to my country but it hasn’t worked out quite yet. I’m trying not to pressure myself thinking that it has to happen very soon and instead try and stick to the belief that one day it will. I guess staying positive and telling yourself that, just because you haven’t lived up to your own expectations yet, doesn’t mean your life is going in the wrong direction. It’s probably meant to be the way it is right now and life will throw something amazing at you one day as a reward for not doubting yourself! 💕 I hope that somehow makes sense! I tend to get confusing when I start to ramble on a lot haha!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind and motivating words! It’s hard to get in the mindset that it’s okay for things to not go as planned but it is just a reality of life that they don’t always go the way you are expecting. You seem to have a fantastic attitude about the situation you are in – everything will work out the way it is supposed to!!

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  2. Well written post. Life does not go as planned. We try to drive the car but it tends to takes us other places. When we arrive where life detoured us, we look around an wonder why are we here. I have found that planning life in impossible. The company moves and takes your job along with it. The car continues to break down and eat at your savings. Your child is born with a serious health issue. Life is so unpredictable but that is the fun of it. It doesn’t seem fun when life is happening but I believe in the end we can learn from it. You seem to have learned a great deal from life’s misdirections. When my child was born with a heart defect which lead to a heart transplant, we didn’t know what to do. We cried to God why us. How can we handle this situation? We didn’t know. After over 90 days in the Ronald McDonald House and two open heart surgeries, he is the busiest and smartest six-year-old I know. His illness brought us closer together. Some spouses separate and lose each other when things like this happen, but we stood in the storm and came out on the other side dry. You will look back at your adventures in dating and laugh with your significant other about the days you wondered would the right companion come along. As far as the doctorate, I was on the same path with that and life derailed it. However, know I get to work with at-risk kids and speak into their lives and I am thankful for that. Well keep writing and I wish you luck.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for reading and for your comment! Your comment is so inspirational seeing that you’ve been through a really awful situation but are able to look back on it and see how much stronger it made you and your family. So glad to hear your story also had a happy ending and your son is doing well. I wish you nothing but the best!!

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  3. Don’t think life ever goes as planned. Specific examples hmmm too many to mention haha. The first job out of university, getting married, buying an apartment..all never panned out the way I thought it would. All a fun journey though and just makes finally getting what you planned more worth it, when it finally does happen, just not in the way you thought it would have 🙂

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    1. Thanks for reading and for your comment! I agree with you – normally when things don’t go as planned, you end up appreciating the way they turn out a little more. I like to tell myself that so many bad dates will eventually lead me to being EXTRA thankful for the guy I end up with!

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  4. This is a really well-written post. I definitely can relate to the things you wrote here, particularly the part about being married by a certain age and having kids. I thought I’d have at least one kid by now, but life never works out the way you plan/want. And to be completely honest, I am really glad I’m not married, and I’m glad I don’t have kids yet because I’ve realised, over the years, that the guy I was dating in my early 20s was not right for me! It took me a long time to see that. However, I am getting sick of bad dates (online dating mostly), but I’m still sticking at it.

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