Why are there so many new terms that go along with dating? When I try to explain to adults (yes I know I’m an adult but I’m not a real adult) what “talking” is, I feel like I’m trying to explain what the color yellow looks like to someone who cannot see. Adults always say “so it’s like you’re dating?” and I’m like “NO!! WE’RE NOT DATING, WE’RE TALKING!!!” I mean really how complex does dating need to be?
To make matters worse we have these even newer terms of ghosting and haunting.
I hate to admit that I have experienced both. I don’t know if that is supposed to be surprising or just the reality of 21st century dating as a female.
Ghosting is when someone stops responding to your messages without any explanation as to why. Ghosting often times, to me at least, comes as a complete shock. The few times I’ve experienced ghosting I honestly did not see it coming. Ghosting is one of those things that just seems immature to me. If you don’t see things going anywhere with the person you have been talking to/hanging out with, just let them know. There is nothing worse to me than being ignored without any explanation.
Except haunting. Haunting is worse. Haunting is when contact has ceased but the person starts to like your posts on social media or watch your Snapchat or Instagram stories. Haunting keeps this person in your mind just enough because you see their name on your phone. Haunting doesn’t always have to be done by someone who has ghosted you but it seems like that’s normally who does it.
To me haunting is worse because you have most likely tried really hard to get them off your mind and now they are reappearing and getting your attention (much like an actual haunting).
My advice for either ghosting or haunting is DO NOT ENGAGE! Once someone has ghosted you, let it be. They obviously do not care enough about you to think you deserve an explanation for why they were not interested in you. Anyone who ghosts you does not deserve you. If someone is haunting you, still don’t engage!! Much like a real haunting, you should not reach out and try to talk to them! Only bad things can come from this and you’ll probably never get the answers you are looking for. We all should have learned something from trying to contact the dead using Ouija boards as kids.
The best (and hardest) thing you can do is to delete them off social media. They didn’t want to date you – which was an awful choice on their part – so don’t allow them to keep up-to-date on your life! If they were interested in what you were doing they should not have ghosted you to begin with and they should definitely not be lurking around the internet liking your stuff.
Anyone who has been ghosted/haunted or done some ghosting/haunting themselves – I’d love to hear your stories! – xo