i’ll bend but refuse to break

After being single for a little over a year, I’ve really gotten a good taste of what being single is about nowadays. Honestly being single is so weird. I don’t understand why it’s portrayed as if it is so fun in movies because we all know it’s really not. I like to think I’m single because no one I have met has been good enough for me yet. I think I have a rather realistic list of traits of what I want in a guy – but I also like to remain open minded that I might meet a guy that is nothing like who I think I’m supposed to end up with. Unfortunately, sometimes being single gets a little lonely and we bend a little bit and settle for some traits we know we would rather do without.

Recently I met a guy who checked off most of the boxes on my “Things I’m Looking for in a Potential Boyfriend” checklist – he has a college education, a job, he has his own car, he lives on his own, he’s funny – he even treated me really well. He paid attention to what I had to say. He would often comment on things I didn’t even remember saying or telling him which I always think is a huge plus. We all know how difficult it can be to find someone who just simply listens to what we have to say.

So what is the negative? He only wanted to spend time together when he wanted to spend time together.

At first I found myself trying to be more flexible. I would say I couldn’t hang out right after work because I needed to go to the gym but then I would rearrange my plans and wait to go to the gym until after we spent a few hours together. Why? HELLO – he had so many of the things I am looking for! It is very frustrating when a guy has so many positive traits that you’re looking for but has this one, huge, annoying trait that you know you don’t deserve. We try to make it seem not that bad by just cooperating at first.

Then I took a few steps back from the situation because this is not who I am. I don’t really think being single is that bad. (I actually enjoy being single and my alone time – but that’s for a different post). But sometimes being single gets lonely. It’s important to not let getting lonely get to your head and make you bend until you break. I was upset that such a good, caring guy wanted everything to be on his terms and his terms only. If he really liked me he would’ve been willing to cooperate.

It’s okay to be the girl who someone can’t have. It’s okay to stand your ground. And I know that this might make me look psycho to him because I was so adamant about something that he thought was irrelevant but so be it. I knew what I deserved and I ended things.

It’s okay to be flexible. It’s okay to be open-minded and hopeful that a situation might work out despite some negative traits or occurrences. But don’t let someone bend you till you break.

With love from my city to yours,
xoSteph

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